Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "My mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, for my family, my most impressive quality is I can make spaghetti and meatballs. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML
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Top comments
Aethren 0
Today I forgot to put sugar in my coffee, FML.
ijkl0marissa 0
Uhm.. why did you shout that? Besides, matzo ball soup (at least at my seder) has chicken in it, and is served in broth, so it isn't a very vegetarian option..
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Comments (174)
lolwhat_fml 0
# 40, its people like you that make the world ****** up. Go die, you piece of shit. And to the OP, i love matza ball soup! im not even Jewish C: This isnt a pretty funny FML though ;D
KamiKaze_Nation 0
I know what you mean only being able to eat certain things by being a vegetarian. Being a flexitarian (I don't eat meat when I can, but when I have no choice the only meat I eat is chicken.) I often can only eat bread, pasta, or something along the lines of that. Being home for Easter, today I'll probably have pizza or a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread while the family has Ham and other food I won't eat. I'm also an extremely picky eater.
SpunkT 0
#40, go choke on something.
survivalism 0
Thanks for explaining what a Seder is, I didn't know because I'm stupid.
artykat 0
I did that exact same thing. It was really awkward because you could tell my mom wanted to laugh, but she didn't want to corrupt me just in case I ddn't understand the pervertedness of the statement.
MaiLouIsLegend 0
Hahah YOU had balls for screaming it out lolx. But hey who said big balls were a bad thing? Laugh it off & just tell 'em you were just kidding im sure they would too. :]
jdkfgkjdfb 0
That reminds me of a time a few years ago when my family was hiking with another family. We stopped to eat lunch, and the other family's son (who was about 7 or 8 at the time, I think) had eaten all of his trail mix except most of the nuts. He then said very loudly, "WHO WANTS THE REST OF MY NUTS?" Everybody started laughing, and he didn't get why. His mom said to him, "Oh, you'll want them later," which he still didn't understand.
hockeygirl202 0
not a big deal.
Amphysvena 11
I suppose the best answer to the people who keep asking why he put big in front of it is that in the context of the sentence, "I like really balls" doesn't make much sense.
hdbrill1 0
you can avoid this in the future by not being jewish. (don't hate on me I used to be one)