Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "My mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, for my family, my most impressive quality is I can make spaghetti and meatballs. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML
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Top comments
Aethren 0
Today I forgot to put sugar in my coffee, FML.
ijkl0marissa 0
Uhm.. why did you shout that? Besides, matzo ball soup (at least at my seder) has chicken in it, and is served in broth, so it isn't a very vegetarian option..
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Comments (174)
adarts11 0
thats what you get for being a vegetarian
horsenutt 0
we're twins ! only.. i never shouted that .
pariah411 0
#83 is spot-on. Grow a sack and eat meat like a real man. Pussy...
urluvlifesux 0
for the first comment: you can make matzo ball soup without chicken, like with fake broth, that's what my dad does for me because I'm a vegetarian. That was dumb though... but i got stuck with the same situation.
fuuckmahhlife 0
haaaaaaaa. this is soo great.
YogiBabu 0
Wow man ur life is really ****** up.....ur not only a Jew ur also a vegetarian.
McNerdy 0
I like really big balls too. Nothing to be ashamed of.
daynnite_fml 0
Fake
zeGeaman 0
@#72, lol, that comment was funnier than the fml.
ejvlols 0
OMG I ALSO LOVE BIG BALLS ALSO