Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML
Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
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Top comments
Haduken 16
At least you already had ice for that burn
adrianh1090 12
At least he was nice.
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Comments (123)
Welshite 40
Are you kidding? If people learned and changed their behaviors, we wouldn't get anymore FMLs. That CANNOT happen.
perdix 31
Hey, at least he played with your chest! When a guy gets to second base, it's more fun if you're conscious, but now you've got some of the awkward preliminaries out of the way ;)
sdroze1389 31
true. with the added plus of it not being rapey because she wanted him anyway
perdix 31
#26, I like your positive thinking! With this outlook, their second date could be fun, especially if she stays awake this time :)
free_livin 2
It's the thought that counts!
skellingtonfart 18
You'd think he'd be able to manage to slide you back across the icy porch with ease...
Cedrina 11
"thats a slippery situation"
DorklyComicFan 8
Swing and a miss.
olpally 33
Well, you can't be mad at him for trying. At least he didn't break into your house and only left a note. Haha.
Enslaved 38
He just left you there unconscious? Sounds like he's trash too.
perdix 31
#19, she did have her top on when she came to, so he's not all bad.
Grauncho 27
This may not have been the best way to break the ice.
droidprincess 4
hey you got your neighbors attention.....way to go!
ZY1431 24
well at least he did try