Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML
Today, a creep called me out in the street and asked me why I was in that part of that street, because he "knows " I live in another part of the street, and he found it "odd" that I was there. He was smiling all that time too. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
Today, I ran into an old friend from college on the bus to work. Having not seen each other in over 10 years, we spent a good 15 minutes talking about our lives after college. At the end, he asked me what my name was. FML
Today, my coworker came to my desk, so I greeted him with a smile, and said, "Hello friend." He then told me that we are not friends, and that he hates when I say that. Oh, OK, sorry for trying to be nice. FML
Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday." He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me, and when I asked why we never hung out, he told me that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML
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Top comments
js_0508 9
I hope he was joking but i'd keep my distance from him just to be safe. Goodluck!
bulletsinthewind 21
Wow, that must feel a bit creepy. Perhaps he's been stalking you. I would say you should run like hell, and run far
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Comments (71)
sleepyfires 20
Yes.
Nilorak 24
No.
creatureman 14
Maybe
91hayek 31
I don't know.
Lorenzo1102 21
Can you repeat the question
nonsensical 26
No, this is Patrick
dabaerju 23
You're not the boss of me now~
pedopears 18
Amazing Malcolm in the Middle reference.. :D
thatguynamedsky 32
why was 27 downvoted that was the best
js_0508 9
I hope he was joking but i'd keep my distance from him just to be safe. Goodluck!
Rectov 10
Can't keep your distance if he knows where you live
khoov19 20
"Run Forest Run"
pokemyeyes 23
Forrest*
HerMischief 21
Now you have to check under your bed every night before you sleep!
bulletsinthewind 21
Wow, that must feel a bit creepy. Perhaps he's been stalking you. I would say you should run like hell, and run far
sonasonic 34
Why should she run when she can get a restraining order? Pretty easy to get one nowadays.
jake131000 21
watch your step
echarlotte 19
Time for a restraining order
TheDog6 24
You should have responded with "Would you hate me if I called the cops" For the mean time though, maybe stay with a friend or family member just for safety in numbers.
Badkarma4u 17
I don't know why, when I reconnect with an old school friend. It usually goes like this. "What ever happened to Cathy?" "Oh she got her art degree and is working at XYZ design firm." "Oh wow, so shes a big city girl now", "Nah she still lives over on elm, you know where the Millers used to live?" "Oh yeah, man, its been so long I'd like to catch up with her. Do you have her number?" "Sure". No need to be creeped out. There is also nothing wrong with knocking on an old friends door. Thats what doorbells are foor.
tbabyxox 12
You sure know how to pick your friends ! Lol
hellowisaid 15
An* that moment you fml is incorrect
jtthegr8 26
your* ?
sstahpp 33
OH SNAP
MrThump 16
Stalker!
Nilorak 24
Yes, what do you want? ;)
MrThump 16
A restraining order :)