Today, all the staff in my company were forced to attend an evening Chippendale show. Everyone in my department managed to think of a good reason to escape while I failed and no other choice but to go. I'm the only guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into our office and everyone started laughing. It turns out that I'd been the only one not in on the joke to come in dressed as a character from our favorite TV show. However, I'd dressed in normal work clothes. I’m the boss. FML
Today, after my boss asked me to work late on a Friday and I'd agreed, thinking it would show him my dedication to the corporation, I got to the office. I realized after a while that I was the only one there, and the building's security system had locked me in. I spent my Friday night talking to our office goldfish in an empty row of cubicles. FML
Today, I was alone at work after everyone had gone home and started practicing my "cool" walk for a date I was going on after leaving the office. As I was strutting around, the doors of a conference room opened to a group of my coworkers, including my boss. They hadn't all gone home, and they'd seen everything. FML
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
Today, the CEO of my company told me the only reason I'm being sent to this huge tech conference is because the company will look better with a girl there. I'm expected to stay out until 4am with creepy rich business partners to stroke their egos. FML
Today, my boss caught me singing and dancing in the office when I thought no one was around. Trying to save face, I told him I was just practicing for a team-building event. He smiled and said, "Great, you can lead the next one." Now I have to choreograph a team-building dance. FML
Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML
Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML
Today, I showed up to a meeting without my pants and had to pretend it was part of my outfit. FML
Today, despite over 100 colleagues agreeing to attend a protest over our working conditions, no one turned up because they were too afraid of losing their jobs. Since I was alone, I was sacked on the spot and physically thrown out. FML
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Top comments
IrishWildMan 3
I think "I'm a guy" would have been a pretty good excuse.
babyblue666 1
what kind of a job makes you go to a chippendales show
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Comments (95)
antoinemartinez 0
i was gonna go to one of those but then i remembered i have a penis
Skroal_stomper 5
Dude? Don't you know anything? You go to get laid after. There are hundreds of horny women looking for a stiff one once the show let's out. Trust me it really works.
antoinemartinez 0
point taken #17 i did not think of that
evildeadfan420 0
"Macho macho man! I've got to be a MACHO MAN!!!"
Skroal_stomper 5
10 Is right on the money. Men go to these shows to get laid after. He will have a good variety of choice meat to choose from.
iwadasn 33
People still talk about women as if they're livestock? I thought that ended several decades ago.
AmberBri 8
Guess some men are still pigs. ;)
AmberBri 8
Guess some men are still pigs. ;)
Lunasis 14
meat eh? bet your sorry ass don't get far with women
manofmerr 27
87, dont copy 86. And i think of all people as meat. Long pork, to be precise.
stro88 6
bro mad females gauranteed someone might try to smash with you.
atthegates 0
ur a guido
Heffir 0
As soon as I read "I was the only guy" I was like how the hell is this an FML?!
Acousticpixie14 6
You have failed, Boners. Those are the wrong chipmunks. Chip 'n' Dale are the rescue ranger chipmunks [:
finndizzle 0
I don't see how a company can force you to attend an event like that. You are either a spineless piece of crap, or just a liar and wanted to make up a story to post on FML.
insertcutename 3
More cabinets for you, I say. The less people there the more likely you are to get a deal on a gorgeous curio.
misstamz 0
What kind of company do you work for? if going to chippendales is required, then are they hiring?
Raikougal 0
Next time (& hopefully their never is a next time), just say you're planning on starting a colon cleanse that night. Trust me, NO ONE will want you to come!!!