Today, all the staff in my company were forced to attend an evening Chippendale show. Everyone in my department managed to think of a good reason to escape while I failed and no other choice but to go. I'm the only guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into our office and everyone started laughing. It turns out that I'd been the only one not in on the joke to come in dressed as a character from our favorite TV show. However, I'd dressed in normal work clothes. I’m the boss. FML
Today, after my boss asked me to work late on a Friday and I'd agreed, thinking it would show him my dedication to the corporation, I got to the office. I realized after a while that I was the only one there, and the building's security system had locked me in. I spent my Friday night talking to our office goldfish in an empty row of cubicles. FML
Today, I was alone at work after everyone had gone home and started practicing my "cool" walk for a date I was going on after leaving the office. As I was strutting around, the doors of a conference room opened to a group of my coworkers, including my boss. They hadn't all gone home, and they'd seen everything. FML
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
Today, the CEO of my company told me the only reason I'm being sent to this huge tech conference is because the company will look better with a girl there. I'm expected to stay out until 4am with creepy rich business partners to stroke their egos. FML
Today, my boss caught me singing and dancing in the office when I thought no one was around. Trying to save face, I told him I was just practicing for a team-building event. He smiled and said, "Great, you can lead the next one." Now I have to choreograph a team-building dance. FML
Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML
Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML
Today, I showed up to a meeting without my pants and had to pretend it was part of my outfit. FML
Today, despite over 100 colleagues agreeing to attend a protest over our working conditions, no one turned up because they were too afraid of losing their jobs. Since I was alone, I was sacked on the spot and physically thrown out. FML
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Top comments
IrishWildMan 3
I think "I'm a guy" would have been a pretty good excuse.
babyblue666 1
what kind of a job makes you go to a chippendales show
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Comments (95)
lifesluck 0
Going to call FAKE on this one.
BlackR6Rider 5
riiiiiiiiiiiight.....u haven't broken out the closet but u sure are peeking thru the blinds man....
DjSmoz 0
how are u made to go? not possible I think u wanted to go!
grrrkgrrrl 0
Think of the upside: this probably counts as your experience with fun spiritual
seahorses4eva 4
^ Ha! ...very nice.
smokindagoo 0
oh you sound so forced there just holding a gun to your head arent they "oh no please i dont wanna oh no " you want to go and you want some dude to smack his meat on your face. im sure on monday when you return to the purfume department you will be the only one who was forced to have all those mushroom shapped bruises on your face
skulluks 0
Gay, your gay.
jellyfishdelight 0
Here's a good "excuse" to say, 'Im not gay.' Or are you?
bigchango 0
I don't know what Chippendale is but all I know is ur the only guy which means everyone else there is a chick..... try to get laid?
nerdsgetmehot 23
I've heard of straight girls being dragged to Hooters/strip clubs (or even going voluntarily). Suck it up, OP.
pottymouthpanda 0
isnt dat every mans dream? :)