Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
Bewitched
Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML
Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Throwing shade
Today, my 12-year-old daughter was suspended from school for doing a book report on 50 Shades of Grey. FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
I'm on your team too! Hope your older daughter grows out of it and helps out the younger one too!
wantmeasandwich 26
Hopefully, your oldest daughter will not discover Fifty Shades of Grey now...
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Comments (90)
tony1891 22
lol. your user name.
hellowisaid 15
There are adults who still like twilight what's the matter?
laden_swallow09 35
If I were an alarmist, I would tell you that watching or even reading the Twilight series lowers IQ points. But instead, I'll say that they teach abusive relationships should be encouraged because "he really loves you, so it's okay to be scared of him all the time," everything in your life should revolve around getting yourself a man, and just plain shitty, generic writing as if Meyer were some grammar school reject, what with all the uses of the word "perfect" to describe someone. It seems like she just flipped through a thesaurus to overuse adjectives. Didn't bother with using more colorful nouns, verbs, or adverbs like any accomplished writer should. Neither does it help her case that her inspiration from a wet dream she once had. That's what's the matter with impressionable children – or anyone, for that matter – reading Twilight.
gracehi 33
Oh please. I've actually been in an abusive relationship, and believe me, the Twilight books do not portray abusive relationships. Edward Cullin is a kitten compared to my ex husband. I'll agree that it's very weird and yes, some things that happen are certainly questionable (like how Edward stalks Bella in the beginning), and sure the main character isn't a great role model and a bit unhinged, but it's a silly story about vampires and werewolves and humans falling in love. A story like that isn't supposed to resemble realty, and I think to take it too seriously and compare it to real abusive relationships trivializes the issue. Also, it's a young adult book. If a high school or college girl doesn't realize that a guy watching you sleep through your bedroom window isn't normal, then she has deeper problems than her reading material.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
#43 There are different type and level of abuse. In Bella and Edward’s case, it’s definitely emotional abuse and it’s both ways. He constantly controls and undermines her, she constantly manipulates him and Jacob. Besides, Meyer has zero idea what it means to be in love since the only thing Bella raves about is how good looking Edward is. She also pretends that she doesn’t care for his wealth but still spends an awful lot of time describing in detail all the fancy stuff they own and how easy it is for them to buy anything. It’s so shallow.
gracehi 33
Granted it's been several years since I read the books, but I don't recall Edward trying to "control and undermine" her, except for trying to stop her from seeing Jacob, but then again, Jacob did have the potential to randomly turn into a mindless murderous monster at any moment. I remember Bella being neurotic and obsessive, but then, again she is in love with a magical being adapted specifically to attract humans as prey. Do you see how ridiculous this all sounds? It's fantasy. You can't apply reality to fantasy.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
#74 - stalking, threatening with self-harming if your partner leaves you, not respecting someone’s choice (when it comes to your choice of friends or wanting to keep your virginity till marriage), emotional blackmail, blaming your partner for your overbearing behaviour, these are not fantasy. That happens in real life. Besides Bella is not in love since the only thing she likes about Edward is his good looks. Most of the time, she is miserable with him. I think these books were a really bad example of relationship for young girls. Complete alienation of self is portrayed as desirable.
Rababco 29
@43 Yeah, I don't really see Edward as really abusive. I've never really been into Twilight (I don't think it's horrible, it's just not something I'm interested in) but I know a little. Edward's overprotective/a bit possessive of Bella but I think it's understandable because Bella's always in danger and nearly dies a bunch of times so of course he's going to be super protective of her. Bella's kind of annoying and shallow but she's a lovesick teenage girl; I wish she was more interesting but that's probably why teenage girls relate to her so well. Plus, Edward's around 100 years old so he has a mindset similar to that of the culture from 100 years ago rather than that of today.
CMCommando 5
Regarding your username, you mean "Team Tyler's Van"?
wRIPPERw 23
I'll pray for you.
Goblin182 27
Twilight? Wasn't that the movies about a teenage girl trying to decide between ********** and necrophilia?
Lanker 17
Congratulations, you just won the entire comment section xD.
Soundslikeothers 15
Twilight is still a thing?
taintedtruffle 42
Honestly jokes aside there are a lot worse things your girls could get into
XBurytheCastleX 25
The books are really good... Just try to get them hooked onto the books. They'll gain some reading skills... Breaking dawn has over 700 pages.
laden_swallow09 35
Quality ––––––– Quantity
_Lenah_ 20
Over 700 pages of god-awful garbage.
XBurytheCastleX 25
So, you've never read them. Don't give me your opinions thanks, I was just giving op an idea.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You can’t be serious #22. The books are really poorly written, Meyer keeps using the same expressions over and over again. She also uses fancy vocabulary in the wrong context, clearly not really understanding it. Breaking dawn is the worse of the four books. She constantly breaks her own rules, spends a bunch of pages introducing new characters that she doesn’t develop and the ending is a huge cop-out. Plus, Bella and Edward are extremely unlikable, their relationship is nothing less but toxic, shallow and abusive. If anything, these books should be used as an example of the type of relationship to avoid at all costs.
knoxxx 22
38 - I've read them. They're awful. Just because it's an "easy read" doesn't mean it's good for teaching kids reading skills. There is hardly any variety in the vocabulary in the series, the two most common sentences in the whole series are "I sighed." and "He sighed." WOW SUCH LEARNING! All reading skill aside, I would never want my kids to become obsessed with a book that centers around a completely toxic relationship. Where the main character goes comatose for months over a guy leaving her, endangers her life to have hallucinations of him, and then completely abandons her biological family to have him in her life. Truly horrible book series. And I will give you my opinion whether you want it or not.
XBurytheCastleX 25
Pick one up again and skim the page. It's not "he sighed she sighed". Is the comment section just here to piss people off with their opinions?
knoxxx 22
It is "she sighed" and "he sighed". The books have been analyzed and the words counted. Those are literally the two most common complete sentences in the whole series. I can see you're in denial dear, but facts are facts.
jojocircus19 16
I loved twilight and then I read this..... ?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Listen to why she likes them and maybe you can have a discussion with her as to why you think these books are poorly written and how Bella and Edward are selfish, whiny and shallow idiots. You could also introduce her to proper literature.
allplayedout 20
Well, it does open a window for you to talk to both of them about abusive relationships, since the whole series peddles that crap to teens as romantic. Read them and you'll see what I mean.