Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
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Top comments
UpYourself 0
Haha kids...
Krystakitty 0
Its just what Kids do...as a mom you sjhould know to put a towel under her if shes on your bed and if shes prone to taking of her nappy she should have had trousers or a vest with the buttons done up at the bottom common sense really
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Comments (129)
blue_eyed 0
Its called a changing table! Then it wouldn't be as much of a problem since that's where u SLEEP and all
MamaC_fml 0
Urine and feces in a contained area aren't nothing; wait until she decides to smear her crap all over herself, the newly cleaned white carpet, and your wall minutes before a big family gathering for which you slaved yourself cleaning your home until it was immaculate. Or for her to puke all over you - and I'm not talking about spitup either - I'm talking about the stuff that comes out in yellow and green chunks and smells so bad you never want to see whatever your kid had for lunch again. And watch, the day she tells you she hates you - all children give their parents that agonizing moment - you'll look back at this and mentally beat yourself up over considering a bit of pee and poop as an enough of a FML moment to actually post it.
nofxtime 0
I never told my parents that I hated them. You must have been a bad kid and/or parent.
kukopia 0
Plz allow Mr Brevity to translate this FML for ya; Today I found out that motherhood isn't easy or clean, just like everyone always says. No charge for the first one sweetie.
cheetahh45 0
So uh how many times are people going to say "its motherhood" and "wait till they get to their teen years." While both statements are true once seven people say it why does 40 more have too?
blueknight1st 26
You deserved it for having a baby.
weddingbelle09 0
How did this become an FML? It's called being a mom. It happens. Ask any other mom.
ohmygoodnex 0
Wow, you suck as a mom. Just ******* clean it up. Be a man.
Misschristine90 0
YDI! ALWAYS have the diaper next to you when changing a baby. you need some serious parenting lessons!!
HotSauce_fml 0
Boohoo, you're a parent, stop crying.
LoveMySoldier 0
This is why I am not a breeder. YDI for procreating.