Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a meeting with my daughter's headmistress, which I thought went well, until I was walking to my car past the open staff room window and I heard her say to other teachers, “Jesus, I can see where that brat [my daughter's name] gets her shitty attitude from… and her fat arse.” They all laughed. FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML
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Top comments
cptmorgan15 2
Tell that bitch.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Say goodbye to your job.
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Comments (290)
jbird1193 3
I wish there were more teachers like you. Tell them like it is.
kenny2008 0
I'm a high school student n I'm glad u did dat even tho it was an accident I hate annoying students who distract others from learning well hope everitin goes ok w u
SaharNar 0
now that you said that and know your gonna get fired .. just let it all out and say what ya really feel ;D
jennt89 10
I just finished teacher's college and I'd been tempted many times through my practicum to say the same thing.
jess6blondie9 3
That's the funniest thing I've heard all day! I can't wait for the day that one of my teachers calls some one a bitch!
djmixon 0
I used to teach college freshmen and sophomores and I totally agree! They are totally whiney bitches.
s3xymoma 1
omg lol. are you going to loose your job. ??? n fyl op!!;)
Haydenob 0
way to spell lose wrong
s3xymoma 1
119 - does it really ******* matter. Dam fml is so judge mental . how r ppl suppose to feel better if ur saying o nice way of spelling or nice grammar really ur that bored to tell someone that. I suggest u to go get a ******* life. EVERYONE ON HERE IS SUCH bitches I swear.
jess6blondie9 3
If everyone is such bitches on here, and you've got an issue with it, then stop coming to the site?
chanma 0
559-567-5717
Tankd4life 0
can we say YOU'RE FIRED!
dudeitsdanny 10
But then who's gonna teach you that it's "have", not "of"?