Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
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Top comments
cutiepie343 7
Love the OP's username!! Lolz
EwanSmith 2
at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...
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Comments (213)
Mauskau 36
So you haven't had a wank during the last 5 years and you're still young? Hmm?
bmxerboy14 0
You could be gay?? Gay is ok bro(:
DirtyvonZoe32 10
Time to hit up the Viagra
hateevryone 15
5 years? wow...that's a long time to go without sex!
guerillazinsuits 1
That must be hard on you...oh wait.
shaneman96 0
Viva! Viva! Viagra!
kalbrek009 20
It may have just been a case of "performance anxiety".
nvo 6
First time after 5 years - that's a lot of pressure. Don't feel too bad and don't jump to conclusions. Once your mind relaxes, you will probaby have no problems.
zach34 0
Yeah your probably nervous bud just keep talkin to the girl and get comfortable with her maybe mr. Jonhston will come up after that haha good luck to ya " if that doesn't work Viagra is your answer"
Foreveryoung0511 0
Poor guy! Maybe you werent attracted to her, or you just lost your sex drive. Certain food helps with that :p watch the doctors! :)