Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML
texasrose921 tells us more.
Hi, I wrote this FML. Have any of you ever seen an older friend of the family you haven't seen in a while? They've most likely said something like, "Oh, how you've grown!" Or given you a compliment, and then given you a hug or patted you on the head. That's what happened with this guy. He was commenting on a compliment my dad gave me, and decided to pat my face, like a much older uncle would. It wasn't in any weird, predator way. But it was gross. And yes I scrubbed my face with anti-bacterial soap right after.
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Top comments
granCanyon 12
I'm afraid an acid bath is the only way.
sammiixoxo 12
Scrub your face for a good hour!
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Comments (93)
kirbs19 37
I just threw up a little in my mouth... YUCK!
unidentifieduser 23
Make sure to scrub the first few layers of your facial skin off. Who knows what kind of bacteria penetrated your skin.
ndnpride88 25
Go to the bathroom take a shit and do it back to him lol. Sorry op
granCanyon 12
That's risky. What if he's into coprophilia?
lyricalservant 21
OP did mention that he's weird and i don't think OP is weird enough to pull that off
granCanyon 12
I'm afraid an acid bath is the only way.
DrChimpNipples 6
that guy sounds like a shit stain
Magnettik 16
That is indeed a weird friend
DjeePee 25
Well, he didn't wipe with his hands, did he?
xninix_fml 36
That doesn't matter it's still really disgusting.
ProfessorMctitie 20
No... he wiped with his feet instead
CaliCassanova 14
With all the germs your immune system must be in the shiter!
immaMonsta 8
Ugh. I'll never understand why some people don't wash their hands. So gross. I hope you washed your face with some cleanser OP.
iAmPaul 49
Who the hell pats someone's FACE?
Nilorak 24
Op's friend?
laden_swallow09 35
OP's dad's friend.
iAmPaul 49
Apparently you two don't understand the concept of a rhetorical question.