Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML
texasrose921 tells us more.
Hi, I wrote this FML. Have any of you ever seen an older friend of the family you haven't seen in a while? They've most likely said something like, "Oh, how you've grown!" Or given you a compliment, and then given you a hug or patted you on the head. That's what happened with this guy. He was commenting on a compliment my dad gave me, and decided to pat my face, like a much older uncle would. It wasn't in any weird, predator way. But it was gross. And yes I scrubbed my face with anti-bacterial soap right after.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
granCanyon 12
I'm afraid an acid bath is the only way.
sammiixoxo 12
Scrub your face for a good hour!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
Nilorak 24
Why are you complaining, you got a free facial!
The_Avatar 22
There's not many FML's that make me burst out laughing. It sucks for you but that is just hilarious!
texasrose921 9
Hi, I wrote this FML. Have any of you ever seen an older friend of the family you haven't seen in a while? They've most likely said something like, "Oh, how you've grown!" Or given you a compliment, and then given you a hug or patted you on the head. That's what happened with this guy. He was commenting on a compliment my dad gave me, and decided to pat my face, like a much older uncle would. It wasn't in any weird, predator way. But it was gross. And yes I scrubbed my face with anti-bacterial soap right after.
thatcoolguy123 14
Anti-bacterial soap? If I were you I would apply like 10 different kinds of soap to my whole body (mainly face ofc) and take an acid bath... this is the most disgusting FML I've read in a while. Oh and btw, how do you "pat" someone's face???
usaidwhat82 21
Yeah, it's definitely one of the most disgusting FMLs I've seen. If I were OP, soap and hand sanitizer would be my favorite inventions.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
30... u wrote this fml? really...
dunicha 20
#61 ..........Why do you doubt it?
FutueMeamVitam 24
#34 No need to get carried away with an acid bath. The traditional bleach should be quite adequate. I hope OP likes being blonde!
liquifiednate 21
No #61. It just says, "The FML's author" for no reason in the bottom right.
marcranger 29
This is why I'm perpetually "coming down with" or "getting over" some mysterious ailment whenever I'm around older friends and relatives. Sorry, OP! I'd be scraping off my top three layers of skin right about now!
Vegetarian27 24
Yes, dumbass. The OP shows up when they comment on their FML in the app, and #30 did write it.
ratherblunt 6
Let him know that ypu are grossed out by this and that, while he stays in your house, he must wash his hands after using the washroom. Talj to your patents about it too. Your health is important. Remember, it's not just your face he touched... the door handle, tv remote, coffee pot, etc., is all contaminated with trace amounts of fecal matter. Yum.
foxwasalamb 24
we know 61s boyfriend isnt attracted to her for her brains...
verysmarmy 11
62 - She doesn't. It's sarcasm (or one of its close relatives), as in "yes, we know you wrote the FML, that's why your comment is blue and it says 'the FML's author at the bottom. There was absolutely no reason to say so again at the beginning of your comment".
awkwardturtle87 9
An OP's comment isn't always automatically signified as such at the moment they post the comment. A mod does it, I believe. Maybe 61 commented before OP was validated.
Goblin182 27
oh crap, that's nasty
vikky538 29
hope he did not touch the food with same hands... if that's case nonhand sanitizer could save you...
shidaddle 11
Disinfect everywhere he walked!
GunSlinger69 19
Hey sorry this isn't related to the FML, but FML.com, I have been meaning the ask this question. What is the difference between the Top and the Flop? I've never figured it out.
Sophie_fml 29
The top are the ones that have the most FYLs, and the flop are the ones that have the most YDIs.
gabagabaheyu 10
oh shit
Vivi99 12
Gross!! ＞_＜
Vivi99 12
Gross!! ＞_＜