Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words "Stupid bitch" every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML
Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
You're not a stupid bitch for doing your job.
Brittneyyyy 7
Pull out his tracheal tube and then see what he says.
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Comments (64)
Ranimal 12
Oh my gah, it's the end of the world! A patient in the hospital was being rude?! Most people in hospitals tend to not be very happy about being there. Keep that in mind.
LOLSWAT 0
notepads and pencils still work and are cheap fyi
eyez1992 0
for one# 24 ur an asshole and for two my aunts a nurse and u cant help some ppl from doing wat they want so u can try. u try ur hardest and u do wat u have to to help them. so keep up ur job and hope u have better days
Driveshaft 5
yeah...that...or "it's starting to itch" or another variation of itch... not bitch. I could be wrong, but that makes more sense to me.
k9obsessed 5
To be fair, op, you DID state that you can't read lips. based on that fact, it's quite possible you misinterpreted what he was trying to say. Next time offer him some paper and a pen and ask him to write it down.
post12 0
yeah, FYL... the dude has a tube shoved down his trachea but f-YOUR life...
sw33th3art 3
Hahaaaaa how funny
xdrenched 1
OP, you're totally justified in your FML! Don't listen to the ignorant judgmental commentors who have never worked a 12 hour shift and don't even know what a trach tube is. Yes, the patient's life sucks, but ICU nurses ABSOLUTELY have more than their share of FMLs, especially compared to most of the stuff posted on this site. It's easy to say "don't take it personally", but who WOULDN'T be exhausted after 12 straight hours of trying to do a million things while vigilantly watching someone who is glaring daggers at you, trying to punch you, trying to rip out all their lines, trying to make a run for it, etc etc etc. when all you're trying to do is take care of them?? Some of the people leaving comments obviously know what's up. But to all the others who are talking out of their asses, I'd like to see them give it a try.
skater847 0
he could have been saying stop the itch
malpalll 0
faggots.