Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words "Stupid bitch" every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML
Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
You're not a stupid bitch for doing your job.
Brittneyyyy 7
Pull out his tracheal tube and then see what he says.
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Comments (64)
princesspixie 0
if he is on a tracheal tube why is he awake?
FYLDeep 26
Because he keeps foiling their attempts to sedate him via IV?
chillinAK 9
Um, 13 - you can have a trach and be wide awake shortly after the procedure.
DropDead77 11
he was asking for his "Swedish fish" which were on the counter..
FYLDeep 26
Is it possible to eat with one of those tubes in? If so, it would have to be a pretty shitty experience, even though Swedish fish are pretty awesome.
DropDead77 11
haha I have no clue but I'd try it for a Swedish fish!
Zebidee 9
I think he was saying "scrotum itch".
evilhobbitofdoom 4
And this is an FML why? Yeah, it's damned annoying. Ask a doctor for a restraint to keep the medical equipment in place if it's really a problem. As for being called stupid bitch, you are a nurse, your job is to help him, not like him. Water off a duck's back. Just be thankful he isn't combative. My last combative patient sent me to the ER.
chillinAK 9
She could be a CNA whose sole purpose is to sit with him so that he can't pull on any of his tubes. Some states have strict rules on restraints - of any kind. Texas is one that you have to jump through hoops to get restraints. Thats why they employ sitters or have family sit with them. But yeah, I've been sent to ER after a patient chucked me out because of his drug mix. No fun.
Michaelsgirl04 9
PSA not CNA.
theinfamousrayne 0
I can totally see where this is an FML. In the medical field you bust your ass to make people healthy and then you have morons like this trying to hurt themselves and when you do your job, they feel the need to be jerks... just because it happens a lot doesn't mean it's not FML It just means your job sucks... but hey! Someone has gotta do it! Thank you for putting up with shitty people so that we have nurses to take care of us when we're in the hospital and at the doc's office ^.^
mylinh_fml 0
it's your job, these things happen -_- ydi for choosing this job...
loquitaxD 1
agreed.
savvy_suzy 0
Well, if he has a tube in him, he may not in his 'right mind' so don't take it personally. I would advise him that there are 3 options if he does not cease and desist. a) he can rip it out and I will put another one in (I don't mind, I can try a foot IV if all his hand/arm/AC veins are blown); b) he can be restrained physically (I don't mind, allows me to practice my knots); c) I can ask my partner to fire up the meds (I don't mind, but I will need to get an IV for my partner... Go back to step a). Patient care is all about them and has very little to do with us (except that we have to do our jobs as professionally and compassionately as possible). I would explain what will need to happen if he doesn't leave his IV alone (and that the optimal scenario is that he just let things remain as they are). If he persists, fire up option a, b, c. Also look him straight in the eyes while touching his arm or something. I find if they see that you aren't there to hurt them they are more likely to calm down, even with a head injury. If your FML is serious and you're taking it personally, I suggest getting some counselling to learn coping strategies or find another profession. Remember, you're not the one with the tube and IV in you so it's a pretty good day, overall.
DocBastard 40
Nicely said. When someone in the hospital asks me how I am, my standard reply is, "Better than all my patients, which makes it a good day".
sallen0046 4
If you can't deal with rude and verbally abusive patients, screaming, crying, and bodily fluids, it's time to look for a new profession. In the medical setting, you're going to get something unpleasant quite a bit more frequently than you're going to get thanked. If you can't deal with that, you need to get out now while this is the worst thing you've encountered.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Hopefully it was just the drugs...
Destruct0r 5
Or it was Satan -_-
Jasper8713 2
Yeah... I know that, at least here, it's standard practice to sedate for anything that goes down your throat... Tubes, cameras, etc. I wonder if the patient even had the option to be sedated.
catatonicsleep 17
he might be sedated and trying to take the IVs out because he is confused because of the seditives
xdrenched 1
.