Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

Get back here

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML

Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette

Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML

Leg it

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

Thanks, dude

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

Great timing

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML