Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Are you new?
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
The cat's out of the bag
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Thank you, kind stranger
Today, I spent twenty minutes helping an elderly man figure out how to use the self-checkout. When we'd finished, he smiled, thanked me, then walked away… without paying for any of his groceries. The cashier assumed I was with him. FML
Don't bother
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Help!
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Pervy perv walks
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Top comments
A_Troll_Account 3
At least it wasn't you he robbed!
TrentJ 12
Take it as a compliment. The crook could have flirted with anyone in the store as a diversion and he picked you <3 Is this the beginning of a rom-com maybe?
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Comments (25)
KingSquisher 13
Next time someone flirts with you they might be trying to steal your heart. Because black market organs and stuff... yea.
_Desiderata_ 9
LOL. This comment deserves thumbs up times infinity.
KingSquisher 13
Maybe so, but I try to set more realistic goals.
captainsmegma 12
Sounds like a keeper if you can wait 5-10.
moondoglou420 17
They made off with $200, and your heart.
puppies4life 10
Robbing a place of just $200? That's not really worth the risk.
ThrottleJockey 36
He stole your heart, and the cash from the till.
jcash52426 5
Alway be aware of your surroundings you never know when someone is going to do something.
KillerKatz 9
Did you get his number?
_Desiderata_ 9
You mean his booking number in jail? :P
nikkichanxoxo 20
what a shitty situation. I'm sure that would happen to me too dude
mtn33r 5
Love in the express lane is hard. It could have been worse, chin up.