Today, Walmart was out of quart milk jugs except for one. When I went to grab it, I had to practically climb into the fridge. My boobs got stuck on the shelf on the way out, and it took a solid two minutes to wiggle my way free. I had an audience. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML
Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML
Today, I got locked inside the entrance area of a Walmart. I had to get an employee to get me out. FML
Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
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Top comments
t_rosie 7
Quite the booby trap....
manb91uk 22
That’s the breast story I’ve hears all day
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Comments (17)
Chazzster 32
OP - There are such things as basic sanitation. You do not climb into a food cooler! Had you considered that, there would have been no problem. You can always ask an employee to reach something you cannot reach or bring out more from the back - My wife does this fairly frequently.
Rabite 28
Yeah, because sanitation is fine if the person in the cooler is wearing a name tag.
Friesian 7
They can always go into the back and push the milk down or grab it from the back of the rack...
MrLandons 6
I wonder which jug they were looking at...
untamed6969 11
daaaammmnnnn, no one helped¿
Taurus_ChicKa 37
It's okay, you were just demonstrating how milk is made and where it comes from.
staticballoons 5
I guess your milk shakes brings all of the boys to aisle 6. ?
Hillyard 10
Pics!!
ic2drops 10
nice