Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML
Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML
Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, after having had my cat for a year, I've began to understand why people spoil their pets: Between me and her, I want at least one of us to have the easy, comfortable life she deserves. FML
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Top comments
freaky922 0
Taking care of her "pussy", if you will...
tehukiso 0
This is totally irrelevant (mostly) but as soon as I read cat, and Tom, I thought of Tom and Jerry and started to miss weekend morning cartoons :(
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Comments (93)
JennaD 0
So, she was taking care of her pussy?
StudBoiAyeEm 0
awww tomcat ! =]
RhapsodyEternal 0
I thought that euphemism, since it starts with a consonant sound, even though it starts with a vowel letter, should be written "a euphemism" instead of "an euphemism". Then again, I'm not an English major, so I could be wrong. Any ideas?
deathmage12 0
Now, did she lie? Technically no. You just misunderstood.
Don_Jon 0
ouch man. i really feel bad that u had to deal with that. it turns out people have to lie to others when they're doing horrible things. But don't worry. You'll find someone better.
ffffyourlife 0
by the way... she wasnt exactly lying when she told you she was taking care of her CAT, if you get my drift, maybe if she re-worded it you would have understood
ffffyourlife 0
oh PS sorry to hear that =[ i hate hoes hah
LameCake 0
That happened to me when my boyfriend said he needed "Space" I thought I was being a good girlfriend but as it turned out when he would need space ... he was just finding it between other girl's legs =[
billybobjoebob 0
hmm i'm gonna take care of some cats now
BigWestRunner 0
Shes a ******* *****, smack da lying hoe