Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
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Top comments
naxeeb 33
I don't know why he found the need to tell you that. My condolences OP :(
abcdog123 16
Atleast you know your mom really wanted to have you. Some people are complete accidents in both sides :p
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Comments (100)
PhDInLife 8
This happens way more often than you want to know (men lie about being sterile, women lie about b.c.). Just remember, the best things in life aren't planned!!
dallaschloe2 15
no..
JonLee 8
Ouch, sorry OP.
Barriaultcory 16
Kick him in the nuts and tell him he will no longer need to worry about them working
perdix 31
She probably lied that he was the father, too.
HortonThelephant 15
And the asshole of a lifetime achievement goes to:
RadeonDerp 24
No. Just no.
limitedition 25
I'm wondering how that came up in conversation but don't stress OP, many of us were unplanned surprises.
olpally 33
Parents are so thoughtless and stupid these days. Why can't they be honest from the get go? FYL op.
graceinsheepwear 34
Well and the flip side is that there is no rule that there has to be full disclosure on something like that. On being adopted, yes; on being an accident or the result of a lie, why? Parents should act like parents, not cannot-lie-let-me-your-bff peer wannabes to their children.
olpally 33
You make very valid points again miss^^ well put.
assassinbanana0 20
Your grammar is no fun
badgirl00069 19
ouch that's harsh oh well who cares why ur here ur here do great things never let what people say about u bring u down only ur opinion matters ;)