Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
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Top comments
prettymuchyea 0
well, theres only one reasonable thingy that could have gone down..... your cars a ***** :[
Bloodknight 22
Eew, so there are used condoms in your car and you don't know where it's from? Seems like you have bigger problems than getting "the talk"!
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Comments (46)
ErasorRain 0
It was the barking spider!
lottaluv 0
haha #11
hilda_kitty 16
... that guy must've had one small dick for the condom to fall off.
whyLoveHurts 0
lmaoo how adorable :))
Hiimhaileypotter 53
How is that adorable at all, whatsoever?
stephanieeDawnx 0
Liar.
OtherSideStoryOf 3
Why would you write 'about sex' if you said 'the talk'. Idiot.
Thunderstruck14 30
I don't see how that makes them an idiot.... why do you even care? You do realize there are people from other cultures who aren't used to the same slang as us, right? Maybe the OP was just trying to be clear so everyone would understand. Either way it only takes a few words and doesn't make a big difference.
Authoress14 15
lock ur car idiot!!
Larco_fml 3
I remember in high school some kids discovered a condom vending machine in a restaurant, bought one, unrolled it and threw it at each other before leaving it in some random car with unrolled windows. I always felt bad about it - stupid shenanigans may very easily have ended someone's marriage.
YellowKettleBell 31
or caused a mother to have "the talk" with her daughter
hazukilockheart 13
djwjwj
dolcefleurs 7
It's either from one of your siblings, if you have any, or your dad. Let's hope you have siblings.