Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML
Today, I went to El Pollo Loco for the $10.00 special. I ordered from the pimple-faced kid at the register, pulled out two fives, and he said, "That'll be 9.70, I gave you the senior discount." I'm 10 years away from that. Thank you? FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
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Top comments
sensoon15 7
should've said yes. :) gummy worms are good
NecroParade 3
I would have taken the offer. Gummy worms taste so much better than money.
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Comments (156)
CaptainCommenter 6
At first I thought it said, "can I pLay you in gummy worms?"
Jezzikah 11
Today someone Joked around with me. Fml. How exactly did this get published?
LeAngryChick 4
Sure, would you like your food invisible?
CateriusV 11
I'm sorry, bit I don't see an FML. He didn't leave with the food and you didn't make it.
carbonbasedcynic 17
hes living in the trident layers commercial
sohibil 6
You should've replied: "Only if you can give each one a name."