Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML
Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML
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Top comments
Zapzip2013 0
in soviet Russia balls have you.
ifinishlast 0
YDI for having a 12 year old gf
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Comments (140)
ifreakingsparkle 0
HA!!!
SAHMFMLreader 0
okay.. balls ARE gross. there is something wrong with you or you have some sort of fetish if you like balls. so what if she admits that? that is not a FML moment.
luvvs_theatre132 0
No they aren't! Grow up, preteen.
SkateBoarding 4
Yeah 116 is rite
HXCxSceneKidx 0
Dude u only have one nut? Hahahahhaa
Aussieprincess 7
how is that even funny loser?
OHIOxRAIN 0
Yea, other guys balls are gross
besad_fml 0
Hittler had only one ******** too! you have so much in common. do you kill Jews too??
FML102938 8
don't make jokes about hitler you dick you deserve to burn in hell. do you think 6 million jews and 5 million of other minorities is funny?
pmcizhere 0
Sounds like you have one of those ditzy girlfriends, like a blonde or a moron or something.
doyougiveacrap 0
You moran who can't put together a sentence, blondes are not dumb.
fangcutiepie 9
Hello 107 you spelled moron wrong....
fuktrolls 0
ohahaha!!! that sucks tho, did u have prostate cancer?
movies12 0
Balls can be gross......sometimes. If they are hairy and shit that is gross. I don't go near my boyfriend if that's the case, but if he shaves it it's a totally different story.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
that's... fairly ridiculous
99MDC 0
Uniball.
SIMRRF 0
lol :)
moopsy234 0
I'm 12 but I wud say " oooooo I wanna c!!!" and I ain't no ***** either!!! I jus like wierd stuff :)
HiccupAstrid 1
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