Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out, "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by, "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML
Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML
Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML
Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML
Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML
Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML
Today, I had an appraisal meeting with The Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said, "Well done, Eric!" Eric isn't my name. She froze, opened a new file, and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
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Top comments
RickySleeves 20
That's actually fricken funny
TheTardis123 11
Glad to see you enjoy work. Not everyone can be happy with what they do. :)
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Comments (56)
Firecubitch 5
Well at least you are a hard worker. I bet getting all your slots filled at the same time must be exhausting, no matter how satisfying it may be.
imbedderdenu 23
that is awesome! hahaha too funny op! it happens I pull dumb crap like that all the time. I just hope you laughed it off
mustangbravo 27
Wop wop
FragrantSalmon 12
OP is a sloooot
WOTAN1488 24
Why is this an FML? This is a win.
kakabloom 9
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Once, I said to my friend, "Hey ______, do you miss my wet whip?!" This was after swim class and I was referring to my long hair that could also be used as a weapon. I was the innocent kid in my grade and did not know why the dirty-minded kids were laughing or were disgusted. Now I know why... And the moment I found out, I had the "OOOHH CRAP" moment.
NickThunder 12
Be grateful for you coworker... He turned an otherwise terrible situation into a laughable one
Hauclir 14
I would have said it before the awkward silence.
joshi42 16
...and fill her slots.
maggiefox 25
I love having all my slots filled too! XD