Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out, "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by, "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML
Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML
Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML
Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML
Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML
Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML
Today, I had an appraisal meeting with The Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said, "Well done, Eric!" Eric isn't my name. She froze, opened a new file, and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RickySleeves 20
That's actually fricken funny
TheTardis123 11
Glad to see you enjoy work. Not everyone can be happy with what they do. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
Drosophila82 18
Dude that is hilarious.... Observing ego, look it up.
jamongrande 14
That is pure gold!!!
worldclassrager 41
Did laughter happen afterwords? That's a good one actually
lukian_fml 29
Someone should report that to HR.. ..oh wait!
RockstarJAy 16
Reminds me of eighth grade when my History teacher scolded the class and I said "I feel you!" because he and I were like bros then, to which he came back with "See? Josh feels me." and then the class laughed and later on, I got questions like "You feel him?". It was embarrassing but hilarious.
whatsittoyabuddy 8
FYL. but thank goodness for the comment that was made
pauliegon 18
I'll take shit that never happened for 40
johncanact 13
Nothing wrong with a little comic relief.
darkthunda1324 6
At least people in your office have a sense of humor you should try not bein a tight ass
Jonkbaby 23
ydi for trying to showboat so hard