Today, we were supposed to go to Disneyland but we got in a blazing argument. Then this morning I woke up to my alarm clock disabled, he was gone, my ticket was in the kitchen shredded, and when I rang him the bastard was in the first class lounge, waiting to get on the plane without me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML
Today, we missed our flights to our dream honeymoon destination, which we were lucky to get with so many flight cancellations, because my selfish stepdaughter anonymously called the airline to report us for drug smuggling, all because I married her dad this afternoon. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML
Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I was "angry" at him. I was angry because last night he turned off his phone and left me locked out of the Airbnb that I had paid for. Until 3 am. In a foreign country. FML
Today, I had to watch my husband and kids go off on our trip to Hawaii without me because I forgot my wallet at home and couldn't afford to take a later flight. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from Splash Mountain. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover. Reading my texts and emails, I then sort of remembered that in my drunken haze I'd booked a non-refundable flight to the wrong city for the same day. FML
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Top comments
D J's MOM 17
I like the sabotage idea, but instead you could change the locks, move, and pawn all his shit to pay for your own trip to the Bahamas and find a hot man who treats you nice.
RichardPencil 32
Phone an anonymous tip to the airline about the bomb in his luggage. Rat him out and he won't see The Mouse.
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Comments (4)
AzraelAngelus 15
Divorce
RichardPencil 32
Phone an anonymous tip to the airline about the bomb in his luggage. Rat him out and he won't see The Mouse.
MidnaLink 35
I normally don't care for this kind of thing, but I agree. He deserves that for making you miss the flight.
J_Free_Woods 29
Nothing is anonymous these days. Calling in a fake bomb at an airport is the equivalent of yelling fire in a crowded theater. To top it off It can be anywhere from a gross misdemeanor to a felony to call something like that in. Either way it is a fine of at least 10,000 and five years in prison, not jail.
MorganHex 28
dump/divorce. change the locks while he's gone and put all his stuff out on the front lawn
D J's MOM 17
I like the sabotage idea, but instead you could change the locks, move, and pawn all his shit to pay for your own trip to the Bahamas and find a hot man who treats you nice.