Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
"Come on mom! It's obviously dad's collection. My collection wouldn't fit on one server."
StickyPickles 33
I hope he had decent material at least and nothing weird. . Son, why are there 143 videos of pregnant Asian women and German Shepard **** on here? Or something equally disgusting
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Comments (45)
kalbrek009 20
Does he go by the screen name "canthaveitathome" on tumblr by chance?
vikky538 29
there is a reason its called family server... anyone in family can upload it.... sometimes ****...BTW..who is downloading **** these days when internet has so much to offer...
PerfectDarkTails 8
Lol, who has whole servers just for ****...
enginsteve 17
me...
Arokthis 21
I had something similar happen to me. My dad went to some sites and my mom saw them in the address bar. She gave me grief and I showed her the timestamps in the history. She went beet red.
wvcheesehead 13
Sounds like the beginning of an incest ****.
born_hustla 26
Since mom wanna "talk", might as well seize the opportunity to explain that those antique **** are not your taste...unless of course your dad's got some stuff to your liking.
born_hustla 26
...give your mom the talk on your preferences in women!
Scorpio1691 29
That's when you go. "i'm sorry mom. here let me delete it." lets see what dad says then after he sends you up the river
WakaMiserably 10
He better have paid you.