Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML
Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
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Top comments
fightingkittens 39
Surprise buttsex? Oh, I'll probably get hell for this.
sux4u121 10
I would look at this as a good thing. Sure you may have embarrased yourself but she is clearly interested in you.
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Comments (45)
TheBrightSide00 16
Who nose, this may be the start of something great.
a1f0sff 25
Nose?? What about knows?
Lacist 19
That grammar is awesome, didn't even know someone could mix up the word "knows"
lilhellian 27
15 I assume he's making a pun off of the fact that the nose hit the table to...
Pleonasm 36
Good lord and that one was a nice and easy one, and yet it flew right by them. I for one, found it smashing.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Butt OP it's a good thing, she obviously likes you and found it funny, ass her out maybe? :)
Maverick52 13
Butt lets face it guys OP's confidence has probably taken a nose dive after this whole situation.
Accuraxy 10
I find it startling how some people can't identify obvious puns. Anyways, I think later on you will find this to be a knee-slapper.
LolPieRofl 11
Not knowing simple puns are a nip in the ass in the future
lilhellian 27
Atleast she notices you op! You make her smile without even trying! :D
TheRandomIndian 17
Smashing your face into a table usually takes some effort
DudeEvil 22
But it came so natural for him :P
LittlestV 28
If you laugh about it yourself it won't seem like you're embarrassed! :)
zombieslayer83 19
I agree, she's laughing and having a good time. join in on it and who knows y'all might hit it off. Never pass up a good ice breaker.
bwzwally8 15
Well that's one way to take it head on..
Mister_Triangle 21
Yeah, at least OP applied it directly to the forehead
Pleonasm 36
"Kids, this is the story about how I met your mother. It started with a slap on the ass..."
R00ST3R 12
...from Marshall.
maz95 17
Just join in with her and laugh it off :)
99megster 15
Girls love a guy who can make her laugh :)
Dracoboxer357 36
30- ....and who can make her feel safe at night. So basically, a Ninja-Clown. ;)
zessica101 5
you need to be glad it wan't youre phone
zessica101 5
you need to be glad it wan't youre phone
Kkkdawg 27
Wut?
screenager5 35
this is how some of the best love stories start! just a guy and a girl and a funny (albeit embarrassing) event that sparks something. ya never know :)