Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I took a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted something rotten. Turns out my grandma knows I drink her soy milk, so she swapped it with expired chicken broth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
Today, the host family that I'm staying with in China gave me a small milk box to drink. It tasted a bit tangy and sour, but I thought that was probably just the taste of milk in China. Trying to be polite, I practically chugged the whole box. Later, I found out that it had expired 20 days ago. FML
Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML
Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, while tidying up my grandmother's fridge, I got to play expiration-date-bingo. The winner was some type of concentrated apple sauce supposed to be used for salad dressings. It expired in 1986. FML
Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed two weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer, so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past three days. FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
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Top comments
Flutist 3
Your grandmother is Epic. I don't understand why you would drink out of the carton. She's your grandmother. Have some manners. Buy your own ******* milk.
boner_93 2
wow, that kinda sucks. way to go grandma!
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Comments (77)
noshitsherlock 0
I don't understand passive-aggressive bullshit. How about uh, I don't know, uh... TALKING? Is it that hard? I guess people just enjoy being petty assholes. And that old bitch should know better - really mature.
grrrarrrg2 2
fake.
ThreadingFate 0
Haha, don't **** with G-Ma.
Batman4890 0
that'll teach u bitch! oh and cud u hi 5 ur granny for me?
SeximusPrime 0
Enjoy your salmonella infection! YDI.
CallMeHush 1
Going out on a limb here. I bet before she did that she told you to stay the **** out of her stuff multiple times. DON'T **** WITH GRANDMA'S SHIT!!!
bug56 0
Hmm. Interesting. I don't think I would be able to tell the difference. Soy milk is nasty.
trguya 0
That'll teach you for consuming soy products. The chicken broth was probably better for you anyways.
NotEven 0
Your grandma kicks ass. Stay out of her stuff.
wh4t3v3R 0
Haha, yeah I did this awhile ago to construction workers in my Dad's house drinking his alcohol. Expectedly my dad forgot which bottle I did that to, but did not know about FML.com