Today, a wasp flew straight up my nose and stung inside my nose and my upper lip about 8 times. I would very much like to be put in a medically-induced coma right now, but the emergency room nurse thinks I'm joking. I’m very much not joking, I want to be unconscious ASAP. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML
Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
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Top comments
tido26 18
Bonus is that you're not in anaphylaxis or a coma (medically induce or not). It's great that you're responsive, especially enought to be posting online
arthriticwolf 8
Atleast you’re not allergic
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Comments (3)
arthriticwolf 8
Atleast you’re not allergic
tido26 18
Bonus is that you're not in anaphylaxis or a coma (medically induce or not). It's great that you're responsive, especially enought to be posting online
Jill Peters 2
Putting you completely "under" requires a lot of resources in the ER, and there are risks to you. Hopefully they can treat your pain in a safer way.
DLBL 23
Right! I find OTC lidocaine cream helpful for bee stings. It can't hurt.