Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML
Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML
Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML
Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML
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Top comments
SaintJimmy 0
Sucks to be you, but I hope your eye twitched while he was talking to you. A little muttering under the breath wouldn't hurt either.
perdix 31
Fake blood washes off easily. The real stuff can be very difficult, especially when you're still on the adrenaline rush after killing. It get even harder when the cops come and your conscience kicks in -- you're not the bad-ass sociopath you thought you were, huh? Haunted hayride? Nice alibi, but it's not a license to kill. MWAHAHAHA!
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Comments (73)
ynos885 0
Saunders Farm in Munster, Ontario --Outside Ottawa has one too
Jazzeh 0
Guh. I'm all bloodied up for a haunted trail tonight... I'll probably shit bricks if I get pulled over for something like that.
trilingualotaku 0
that's bad luck, mate.
qtip14 0
Just tellhim the truth. Unless it's a deuce cop which it probably was
Holy_ish 19
and thats when you stab the cop! >=)
coolgirl44 3
Ooh, what'd u tell him?
Mabonga 12
should have shown him your axe
RicoDay 8
I don't like this post. I'd be far more sympathetic to the victim/relatives of the victim of the stabbing. The fact that you make an FML because people are trying to catch a killer is kinda sick.
drosek89 20
For anyone saying it's not an acting gig, it very well can be called one. If he is playing in a character then he is acting. There is more to acting than TV, movies, plays, and Broadway.