Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML
Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML
Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine, and that she'd never seen it before. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Why29 0
That is what you get for being a hypocrite, jackass.
Aldrasio 0
So rather than telling her you're sick of her smoking in your room, you rat her out? YDI
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (549)
SnugglyBear 0
Snitches get stitches. And Hypocrites like you get what they deserve.
Fml37 0
You got what you deserved jackass next time you won't snitch.
YoursTruly1093 0
Your a snitch and a complete idiot. I hope they kick u out of school. what goes around comes around.
iamanastronaut 0
wow i'd hate to have you as a roommate. you should've talked to your roommate yourself instead of snitching. karma sucks huh
TwinCities 0
You deserved that for sure. What a shitty roommate
C_Wicked27 0
Yeah you definitely deserve that... HYPOCRITE.
Osakhomen 0
Total hypocrite. YDI.
King_of_Kings 3
weed is really no big deal. hell, where i live, you could smoke a joint in front of a cop and you won't get arrested
Gruv3r14 1
Colorado? That's where I live and I do the exact same thing.
DrConstantine 0
That's what you get for being a snitch. Karma is a bitch . . with puppies. Not to mention, how could you do that without realizing they'd search your half of the room, too? Do you have an extra chromosome or something?
mirr 0
im moving...
dubsy420 0
hahahahaha thats what you get, you pill popping piece of shit. marijuana was put on Earth for a reason
mgodson07 0
wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...karma's a bitch YDI big time