Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML
Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML
Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML
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Top comments
elguapo_fml 0
so you're dog is more purebred than you - what does that say about your parents?
zidane312 0
lol, it depends. What kind of dog was it?
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Comments (40)
zidane312 0
lol, it depends. What kind of dog was it?
suyci 0
it seems like you arnt pure bred ô.o
elguapo_fml 0
so you're dog is more purebred than you - what does that say about your parents?
Expat47 0
Moms can be so smart at times.
alwaysalady 0
what kind of purebred dog is it? a cute one like a lab or a spaniel, or something ugly like a bull dog?
ZING_MASTER 0
Damn, whatta ZING!!!
Esperantist 0
#6.
Doesuff 0
This is hilarious! Thanks for putting it up (EVEN IF IT IS SARCASTIC! PEOPLE). I'm sure you knew that posting and don't really believe that your family thinks your ugly. People take FML too seriously and expect serious situations. It's not complaining. It's just funny. Like a "that's what she said" - perfect opportunity. Don't you realize people could be making all of this stuff up? So if it's funny, it's funny.
nightwing2 3
I know but the joke is still pretty racist
natetheninja 0
the comment from your mother should be applauded, for good timing and quickness. 99.9% of parents clearly dont think their children are uglier than dogs, so this was obviously sarcastic. great work mom!
Socrates_fml 0
brilliant on the mom's part