Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
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Top comments
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
I hate public restrooms. For that reason in particular. It's awkward going, knowing someone is right next to you. And usually out of all the empty stalls, they choose the one next to yours haha :p
stronghand0331 17
You had to pep talk your way through dropping a duce? It usually comes naturally to people...
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Comments (41)
Dewayn3 0
I poop with pride!
number0 8
The only logical explanation is that OP was in the presence of a person who can read minds. Or maybe the restroom is haunted....
AdobeAlf 2
Wait a "public restroom" In my country i have never heard of that, do you poo in public?
Doortje 30
Have they heard of the word stupid in your country?
persimmon 0
hehehehe
FatMan23 10
Well, I just thought you should know that you weren't alone. My bad.
chilly012 3
that made me laugh, haha
explain_please 0
battle ship anyone lmao
explain_please 0
battle ship anyone lmao
KatieMajestic 17
Put ice on the buuuurn :D
Deadpoolscomedywriter 6
it is a public restroom your never alone in those restrooms