Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
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Top comments
fuckyourlifeOP 25
Hey, you chose to work at the hospital. Can't cut the cord now.
KuzzBuzz3 15
what got me was "chunks" I have 2 kids and I don't even want to know what those "chunks of after birth" are.
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Comments (67)
captainsmegma 12
Add some carrots, onions, celery, and noodles bring to a boil and simmer for a few hours and you have a hearty soup.
Calingaladha 21
Mmmm, placentomato bisque
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Ah yes, the well-known delicacy that is birth broth.
griddy24 18
Barrrrrf makes g lol
worldclassrager 41
maybe you'll adapt to it over time...actually you may have to unless they move you due to this
allplayedout 20
O dear sweet baby Jesus, why is birth so horrifyingly disgusting?
floridamomma3 3
thats how working in the hospital is sry
blindkid1790 12
well at least you puked in the tub, a ton easier to clean than on the floor!
ihatemymflife 8
I've always thought water birth was disgusting-...You've now sealed it forever...
NNCR12 5
Sounds like you may need to look in a different field of work op
jeanyrios 10
I feel for you. Sorry.
Muttley9 13
You will get used to all of it in time. My empathy became greatly reduced as an effect; I literally had to hurt people every day as part of my job: I drew blood as part of it. Secondly, one of the floors by the lab that I had to pass almost every time I went out to draw blood was an end stage floor; it had a permanent sickly sweet odor of decaying flesh emanating from it. The best and worst part: you eventually filter these odors and feelings out, you change careers or go a bit insane. Best of luck to you.
tivio 1
use bleach