Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fuckyourlifeOP 25
Hey, you chose to work at the hospital. Can't cut the cord now.
KuzzBuzz3 15
what got me was "chunks" I have 2 kids and I don't even want to know what those "chunks of after birth" are.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
MaiLyfe 20
That's ******* disgusting, but kudos for a stomach-churning description. "Floating chunks of afterbirth" really got me grossed out. FYL indeed.
VeganDarkLight 31
Thank you for remembering me not to eat while on FML...
juststephhere 23
That's disgusting... But hey it could've been worse! You could've passed out! I hope you're getting paid more at the very least...
razoray9 22
Not sure how that could be worse passing out isn't half as bad as puking in a bowl of after birth material and still having to clean it up.
jbombdighetty 11
OP could pass out into the afterbirth tub
vixypixys 13
Mucus plug?
davisjenny81 30
Sounds like you blew chunks into that tub too ;-)
keiNan_fml 35
keep pushing
mrd1997 19
Don't they have a drain to get rid of that stuff? That would make sense. By the way, congratulations for being very descriptive, my stomach literally churned reading this. Also, look on the bright side, at least you're getting paid.
SouthernPride95 19
I about vomited just thinking about that
Kryptonites1 16
Use a fish net :3 I'm sorry, I hope things get better!
DeathBunny8 9
In the hospitals here they use disposable tubs.