Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML
Today, our dog became ill. My mom wasted no time attending her every needs and became very distressed. When I had appendicitis a few months ago, my mom told me to “sleep it off” and a friend had to take me to the hospital. She only called once to bitch at me for “doing this on purpose to make her feel bad.” FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Glam_fml 0
And this is why you find out what's going on *before* you freak out.
lmmmr 0
Asshole. You didn't think to call?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (346)
speedmastaflex 0
That was an awesome reply from her mom.
Aussiemate 0
Pfft, that aint ur fault being her boyfriend u should have been told. so really her mum is a ******* ****:)
dyingstart 0
At the very least, we can say the mom reacted appropriately.
purplesucker 0
Wow, you are so rude and you jump to conclusions pretty damn easily. You didn't even try to see if there was a logical explanation for it? You're such an idiot, and she deserves better than you.
superdudeman 0
Holy crap, you're an insecure douchebag. Who would call when she was running late and ask where she was? Oh wait... a douchebag. And to assume that she was just ditching you, you must have a ton of incsecurities about either yourself or your relationship. Read some Dr. Phil and get over yourself.
livelaughlovinit 0
Nice job, asshole. Jesus christ... you deserved that 100%. Learn to live.
seanooi 1
I would've been more worried than angry if my girlfriend didn't show up for our date. you are such a douche. YDI
Blaq 0
I feel bad that i laughed, but your Girl's Mom is awesome!! Don't feel bad though, u cudn't have known. And the Mom shud have let you know if you guys are dating. Boo her!!
aznbillybob4sho 0
this is so typical >< fake.
QueenOfMelodrama 0
Overreact much? If it's a regular occurrence, that's one thing, but from the sounds of it, you just overreacted at her missing ONE date. Ever think she might have a good reason? I'd just be worried something might have happened.