Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML
Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, I was at a store. I asked if I needed a key for their bathroom, and they said the door was open. I have to walk past them to go in and out of the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, they used the key and walked in on me. FML
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML
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Top comments
ThunderLightTSV 31
I can hear the shitty puns already. Great.
Rubioaf 10
doesn't sound too bad op, don't overthink it
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Comments (24)
BestOrginalName 22
What a shitty situati-No! I must resist the urge, but the FML deities are forcing my fingers to post this crappy comment! What a shitty situation, OP! Sorry, y'all. Down vote me into oblivion, FML community. :)
flyingflies 36
You'd think that with so make shit-related FMLs, people would tire of this pun.
Colon_Man 17
You underestimate the power... of the brown side.
tigerisabelle 31
It was mildly funny in 2010... but we're not in 2010 anymore. Stop trying to make it happen ... it's already happened and it's over with, done, dead
ThunderLightTSV 31
Told you so. That pun was shitty and you should feel bad for letting yourself type it.
Colon_Man 17
So, really, you had been browsing your downstairs.
aGMAELSTR0M 10
Well, assuming it was a shopping store (clothes, etc.) where people typically do spend about an hour shopping and not some convenient store, and the cashier, of all people, commented that you were there for a while, HOW LONG COULD YOU HAVE BEEN ******** FOR? That's a whole new level of "full of shit"
writerchic85 26
I think you handled it fine. No reason to go into further detail with the cashier.
moondoglou420 17
Nope, just dropping a few things off..
mrBearBear 11
So you used a stores bathroom? Dam how will you ever recover!? Seriously FML needs to screen these things better.
socialproduct 19
"Thanks. I was just browsing, but I didn't find anything that wasn't complete shit".
Mortoli 30
lol honestly i know the feelin when im at work i crap a lot. its gonna calm down with new post but this one im almost always in the can so. good times. lol
guttedbrit 26
even though we humans do in fact go to the toilet, we continue to either deny that we've been, or pretend we haven't at all. Me included. I wouldn't worry, OP, I'm sure your secret is safe. And also there's nothing to be ashamed of! :)