Intimacy: Spread the word - FML

Spread the word

By JAY22 - 26/03/2009 11:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

agreeclassic 224 266

vote type 1 35 835

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By Ben - 25/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

agreeclassic 20 301

vote type 1 47 745

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

agreeclassic 12 137

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By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

agreeclassic 48 683

vote type 1 86 807

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

agreeclassic 2 262

vote type 1 415

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Spicy

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

agreeclassic 1 949

vote type 1 824

By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Spicy

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

agreeclassic 35 176

vote type 1 4 562

By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

agreeclassic 10 350

vote type 1 1 608

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

agreeclassic 58 358

vote type 1 7 045

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

agreeclassic 903

vote type 1 128

Oh no oh no

By jealouspussy - 20/02/2013 06:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

agreeclassic 43 570

vote type 1 6 006

Next

TOP COMMENTS

lolol182 4

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:00

ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came

Socrates_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:02

how did you answer/what happened?

Comments

mowmowlife 21

Monday 16 July 2012 1:19

Well, do you?

RaizerBerry 3

Monday 23 July 2012 12:43

What...the ****?

simonepedretti 7

Wednesday 5 September 2012 0:15

that's a cockblock on steroids..

Emolygonewild 5

Wednesday 26 September 2012 1:20

Hahaha best one yet

Na7e_G 4

Tuesday 5 February 2013 0:41

As an atheist this would greatly disappoint me.

Malarkey23 4

Thursday 14 February 2013 1:01

I would've just told her yes then put my hand on her head. Just sayin

xRezSynn 15

Friday 9 August 2013 21:20

The troll strikes!

happyfingers 15

Tuesday 1 October 2013 3:25

Hahahahahahahah wth? XD

blayzie420 7

Friday 29 November 2013 21:05

blue balled again..

vincentcloud 4

Thursday 6 February 2014 16:02

I would told the sky is green, anything to let he continue at that point. I hope you said yes and she finished the job

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

agreeclassic 19 927

vote type 1 44 325

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

agreeclassic 62 787

vote type 1 9 361

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

agreeclassic 32 773

vote type 1 3 017

Today, our wedding was ruined. My fiancée detests children due to traumatic childhood abuse, so our wedding was adults only. Two families showed up with children known to always misbehave. The stress pushed my fiancée into a minor heart attack, she’s now in hospital and the wedding didn’t happen. FML

agreeclassic 1 385

vote type 1 180

Today, I posted a picture to Snapchat about being depressed. My close friend, who I share most things with, made fun of my post. That's the last time I share anything with her. FML

agreeclassic 836

vote type 1 201

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

agreeclassic 21 645

vote type 1 77 931