Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML
Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML
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Top comments
chrstygrl06 10
Omg, psycho roommate! So, that's where they got the idea for The Roommate:P
jonseyop 0
To catch a sneaky glimpse at his Willy
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Comments (257)
Garytt 0
just horrible :(
dealerdon 0
talk about dark comedy that's pretty amazing though
15thPrestige 0
You also pissed on your dignity.
THEmuffinpan 0
Says the lying beiber wanna-be. Stfu
docscientist 10
You're so heroic, to pick on a 13 year old.
NINJAPROTOTYPE10 0
but you have to admit... the kid is a dousche
Nadinek98 0
its not his fault he looks like a gay celebrity. he's 13 give him a break
5t3ff1k4h 45
50 - Only douches can't spell the word "douche".
Sangoku_fml 0
Funny roomate... Good way to start a new Day !!!! You don't deserve a FML for that. I'm OUT
Averheck 0
Hahaha. Idk know if your life sucks or if you deserved it but it's hilarious hahaha
cowboyy_fml 0
haha I do that to my roomate all of the time
starshine21 0
i'm sure i'll be dead if somebody will do that to mt. that's why i dont watch horror movies.
luvin_purple 11
that's so not a funny joke. how can someone even joke about that?
sweetonsno 1
Ugh, I agree. Joking about suicide is in poor taste. The roommate is a total jerk.
docscientist 10
It's pretty funny, he didn't drag it out so his roomie wouldn't have been emotionally distressed for a while. Now, pretending to be kidnapped and disappearing for a week, that's in poor taste.
dezinspaaace 0
i would of punched ur 'friend' in the face.
redrobin15 2
I'm not religious. But amen to that.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Wow, that's a pretty sick idea of a joke. FYL.