Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful at a family dinner and offered to carve the roast. The knife slipped, the serving tray tipped. My uncle caught it with his bare hand like a movie hero. Everyone praised him for dinner-saving reflexes while I quietly sat down. FML
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Top comments
bella_coza 0
Can I just say how unsanitary that really is? Ew.
kelissa_fml 16
Dip it in sauce and call it a meatball?
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Comments (112)
coldashell 23
Yummy sink sauce! Now comes in sponge flavor.
dumboears 8
Considering the kitchen sink can have even more germs than the toilet, that's nasty. I hope you at least washed it off. And why use a sponge, why not just use your hands?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
And how do we know this?
dumboears 8
In all honesty, I can't remember where I heard it from. But I believe it. I've seen what goes on in the sink.
dhardesty23 8
I woulda done the same thing OP. I don't function well under pressure so you're not alone .
tdawg4200 0
*Should have. What do you think the 've in should've stands for?
HolyPotato 9
Yum.
rhysfucker 24
Sorry Punkin. A+ for thoughtfulness, C- for execution. Better luck next time.
idontknowyou123 0
Chicken Lasagna a la SpongeBob
freakingabc 0
Lmao!!!
SignUpisntcool 3
Spongebob would be happy you used him in the meal.
RedPillSucks 33
The sad part is they thought it was the best meal you ever cooked. Was the sponge partially eaten?
daizttgg 9
Seshomaru!!!!!!!
silvergaze 1
Well I would have found something else to cook even if there wasn't much else... My family keeps emergency steaks and pork chops and frozen veggies just in case there isn't anything to eat...
Calyx_fml 22
Quack quack.
Awsumuzzie 12
If they're frozen, they can't really be am emergency... Btw, you could feed like an entire African village with what you keep at the back of the fridge!