Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having, I shot at him with the sniper gun I'd bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was OK. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML
Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML
Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
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Top comments
hobozrule 4
y would u shoot him while he was on the roof
BoldfaceMatteo 0
what is a sniper gun you mean sniper rifle and you are just retarded to shoot anyone on a roof
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Comments (210)
Miss_Random 0
You idiot.
AwesumIndianGurl 0
& before anyone shouts at me..I'm just kidding ^ yeh, shootin at someone on the roof was a pretty dumb idea.. :L sorry OP!
IHeartJimi02 0
YDI for not knowing the difference between your dad's friend and a stranger. Also, why would you shoot at someone who was in a roof? That is very dangerous. You're lucky he did not call the cops.
AwesumIndianGurl 0
& before anyone shouts at me..I'm just kidding ^ yeh, shootin at someone on the roof was a pretty dumb idea.. :L sorry OP!
Ratdaddy94 0
Wow that roofer is wall-hacking, not cool.
Miss_Random 0
You idiot.
Jimboom 12
Well for that he owes you at least a full mag to unload on you and you naked on the roof. You want to play with bigboy toys then you have to have bigboys punishments!
KMilliron 2
Sounds like a really bad porno.
skyiscool 0
an airsoft gun isn't a "big boy toy"
AnotherRandomPer 0
Smooth Move, Lt. Price.
amerwin 3
Did you think the tool-belt he was wearing, and the shingles he was carrying were just part of his camouflage?
Guillaumeee_fml 0
You terrorist! Naughty naughty...
playboyintown 4
Fail.
haaayhaaay 0
That sucks But why would you shoot someone who's on a roof ?? He could of gotten seriously hurt. Be more careful next time
amerwin 3
Did you think the tool-belt he was wearing and the shingles he was carrying were just part of his camoflauge?
evi661 0
good job!!!!
leeshxx 3
haha cod references. if using a sniper wouldn't u zoom in? then u would notice it wasn't him