Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML
Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML
Today, I went to a job interview and, trying to sound confident, I shook the interviewer’s hand and said, "Nice to meet me." I didn’t get the job. FML
Today, I went to a job interview and, feeling nervous, accidentally knocked over the interviewer's Mountain Dew. Trying to recover, I blurted out, "Don't worry, I'm used to cleaning up messes." The awkward silence that followed made it clear I wouldn't be cleaning up anything in their office. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
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Top comments
Fluffydemise 18
And you got a promotion, right?
emmingle 24
uh-oh. he wasn't too hard on you, was he?
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Comments (85)
TheShadyMilkman 15
I want to know what he said after you blurted that out though?
PoopNuggetLeader 4
Lets hope if he did puke, it wasn't his mom's spaghetti.
SuperKnuckels 6
Palms are sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy. something falling out my pockets already, moms spaghetti. 4chan anyone? lol
j_cat187 20
That's what she said :P
Jemm_fml 29
Bet you're quickly gonna become the favorite.
jrock9093 18
That is awesome I'm sorry but that made me smile today lol
ShakeDisPlace 10
Pretty soon it may be you giving him the "performance" review OP.
Dcm210 19
Ultimate fml
Ypetrol 11
Lol you getting promotion!!
freshko21 6
Did you then specified you were not referring to your ******? That would have been smart.