Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
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Top comments
fuzzybrownbear 0
way to not recognize your own son
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
Haha sounds like something my dad would do. FYL
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Comments (78)
kapay 0
Slap the mom in the back of the head and tell her to bend over like the night your son was conceived.
divineinstrument 2
LMFAO! oh, I dunno how people come up with stuff like this
krisxing 1
what was the purpose of saying that?? it's so crude and unnecessary! if i had a son i would also be initially pissed if some random guy hit him~ the mother could have an FML like "Today, my adorable son was innocently playing when a random creeper hit him in the back of the head. FML" i'd be more surprised if the mom was like, "oh it's fine... kinda funny... hit him again~!!"
rc024 0
**** you first ur annoying, i hope u die....lol anyways, soo that stinks ydi for not making sure it was ur own kid haha
Clever_Nick_Here 0
The first poster should die? You must be twelve years old to nonchalantly wish death upon somebody. OP does not deserve this, he was just trying to have a little bit of fun. That sucks man, maybe make sure it's actually your son next time, eh?
lol_good_one 0
drop kick the mom and tell her shit happens
Vorock 0
I lol'd.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Actually, #7 (I think it's 7, the comment numbers get screwed up on the iPhone version); "none too happy" is perfectly good English. x_x Ooh, and OP-- yeah, that sucks. but I do the same thing to my brother. :P FYL. and that kid's life. :P
isthisonetaken 0
my dad did that to me except it was at the breakfast table and i was sitting right there watching.
the_mailman 0
i'm sure the police would have been none too happy had they seen you smack any kid on the back of the head. You've really done the world a huge favor by reproducing.
curryndricegirll 0
Oh, you're one of those people. She is NOT beating her kid. Stop bitching at people who are trying to have fun and yell at the real criminals who are actually beating their kids up. FYL, btw...I'm pretty sure we've all had that awkward moment when we confuse someone with someone else. I hugged a man in a store I thought was my dad...he wasn't. I quickly ran away. Anyway, I can see why so many people say YDI...because apparently slapping your kid on the back of the head equates abuse and apparently people can't make honest mistakes.
andy3_fml 0
hahahaha when i was 4 , i used to hang on to my dad's leg and he would just keep on walking. Then one day, there was this guy with the same pants on as my dad... i grabbed onto his leg and everyone stared at me O_o... and then i saw my dad laughing at me... fyl
Goz_fml 0
Man,That sucked for you Bro.
irrelevantxx 0
Well that's what you get Check their FACE first next time, not the back of their head.
Chescapal123 0
Haha no worries that happened to me when i was little at the movies some woman came up and started screaming "there you are! why did you wander off?" and spanked my butt. i ran away from her back to my mom and she was SOOOO embarassed... haha my mom was chill though.