Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
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Top comments
97mailo 17
And this is what’s wrong with our sex ed classes. Instead of trying to scare students we should educate them on how to use birth control
RichardPencil 32
I’m so sorry! You’re going to have a stupid kid. You may not be stupid, but stupidity is a dominant trait and your girlfriend is overflowing with it!
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Comments (54)
Andrei I 9
well, at least you're not running a danger of raising another Einstein
Uniquestar7 20
It's funny how almost everyone here is calling the OP's girl stupid when they're the ones who don't know what she does. Little known secret: conteaceptive pills can be used as vaginal suppositories just as effectively with fewer side effects (nausea, indigestion, etc). It's more likely just regular failure that happens even when the pill is taken orally. And save your outrage. I'm an MD.
engineerosaurus 26
You don’t use standard oral contraceptives that way, though, which is presumably what OP’s girlfriend was trying to do. There are pills that are made to be inserted but I don’t see any evidence that this prescribing approach is actually used outside of studies.
onceuponatime456 16
There is no way you are an MD!
mssileas 25
Hey, a random person on the internet said they are an MD - how dare you doubt them?!
QueenAfrodite 8
Well then you also know that the prescribing doctor would have explained that now wouldn’t they. MD my ass. Oh unless your one of the ones who risk a malpractice suit for not explaining shit that is required for you to explain. She’s an idiot. Point blank. I swear dumb blonds in movies are smarter. MD that’s ******* laughable.
QueenAfrodite 8
You’re
Moxie Mettle 10
No. The WORST part is she has reproduced!
devi_916 39
Does she also swallow condoms to prevent pregnancy and STDs if she gives you oral?
onceuponatime456 16
This is a joke, right?
Nina825 21
how old is she?
Kaili McCoy 6
Haha. You bred with this person.
nanjiii_fml 26
she wants a baby though... 😉
assassinmaster 22
She was about to stick tide pods up there... natural selection working the finest.
engineerosaurus 26
Natural selection is when the stupid people DON’T reproduce.
simcityguy09 19
Your girlfriend’s a ducking idiot