Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He just wanted you to be blinded by love. Literally.
Bustedbutsilent 13
I guess you didn't SEE that coming? I'll let myself out.
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Comments (65)
ezrajab 22
Ouch sorry op
bluebolt25 7
At least you're not Carl on TWD
xsxx 9
Probably he tried to turn you on as scientists have proved that to touching woman's eyeball turns her on quickly
tomvertigo 17
Maybe some day you two can share this story with your kids. Oh wait, this is FML. "Dump him"
SebaQuesadilla 3
Adding unnecessary sensors, it becomes oddly arousing. Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his *censored* across my *censored* hard enough to push my *censored* back into my *censored* socket. FML(u left socket in there to make you wonder)
SebaQuesadilla 3
*I, not "u"
thatsme293 28
Goodness can you still see out of your eye? I'm literally cringing reading this.
aeryn97 17
ouch! this made me cringe
RedPillSucks 33
who the hell kisses some one by putting their hands on the dates face?
tessas 7
The really GOOD kissers! Never mind #36, you wouldn't know!
vikky538 29
Was it a blond date?
P00PTARTS777 14
You tried
pohoon 12
I guess next time you'll be ready for the... blind date (;