Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was just cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
I feel sorry for your boyfriend if you expect him to do all the work. Ummm you need to do more then just show up naked!
sourgirl101 29
WTF So he's cheating because he didn't have sex with you one time? What have you been smoking in that blunt?
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Comments (137)
yaysmile 0
guys cannot read minds, but usually it doesnt take to much to get them into the mood if you make the first move. stop being lazy and let the man know what you want.
krisskrisskriss 0
ahah I suggest you lay down the law of "no sex for a month!!"
xXdotdotcurveXx 0
he's gay :)
krisskrisskriss 0
ahhh you're missing so many bands!! you should update your thingy. :)
dynky 3
awww, he was sleepy. curl up next to him and enjoy cuddling naked together. you can have sex some other time. you can't expect to be up for it at any time, people don't work like that.
dianka_koxanka 0
ur ass didnt impress him enough lol
MaJiN_fml 2
fail
brieebeear 0
maybe for him to notice it and get down to business you should get in a sexy revealing pose either naked or with lungeraé on. it might work
bethnoire 10
lungeraé is the most amazing misspelling in history.
SuperDuurp 0
Bummer
T_Rev1017 8
Mission failed