Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Yeah...FYL brother
1tsmenoah 20
You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.
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Comments (199)
heartsoflions 16
Does it look like a naked mole rat?
sonictardis 8
Well, that image is now permanently burned into my memory..
stellacerda21 7
she's probably nasty anyways
rawlings123 17
Shave your pubes and wash your dick
TechFire 25
I'm surprised by the number of people who feel that circumcision is a necessity. And women complain about shaving their legs...
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Well, at least those who have been circumcised don't remember it. You have to shave almost every day! And in my opinion, if you're uncircumcised it seems like a good way to weed out the superficial bitches.
Coeliacchic93 21
some do remember it depending on when it was done
dp920 14
did you forget to shave? or shower that day? sex involves two people and you gotta think about the other person too. so maybe YDI unless u had a small package and she left then FYL and feel better
THATxONExKiD 7
You may want to get yourself checked out.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Ah, OP... that's harsh. I know this is what everyone's telling you but just to reiterate: First, wash thoroughly. Then shave or at least trim up. Lastly, get dat bitch on the line and ask her what the heck is up. If her reaction was based on size or circumcision though, trust me, you're better off without her. That's just cruel.
ziy_fml 15
Personally she's a btch for leaving and for the foreskin shit that people keep sayin what difference does it make? It's still a dick? Just because it has or doesn't have doesn't change the fact that it's the same thing just minus extra skin as far as I'm concerned idfc lol hope you find a better lady good luck bro :)
SuperStormCindy 8
Guess you weren't working with much in that department. haha. FYL I guess.
reinmon8823 11
Well a number of things could of occurred either shit stains in your drawers, uncircumcised penis,our you need to bathe better... follow up definitely needed