Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML
Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML
Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
Today, I sent a love letter I'd written meant for my crush to a friend so she could evaluate my prose before I actually sent it to him. For some reason, my emotions got the best of me, and I mistakenly CC'd my mom. She replied with three crying-with-laughter emojis. FML
Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Get your own back. Write a new entry in your diary about how you seduced your high school principle and let him snort lines of coke off your ****. Either that or "Dear diary, today I had thoughts about killing and eating my family, starting with my mother".
DirtyDiana_fml 0
that sucks privacy is important she should know that.
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Comments (148)
rockstarK9 0
Wow, your mom is a total bitch, at least you know you can't trust her.
Maksimillian 0
YOU'RE MOM IS A ******* ****
madame_malfoy 4
and this is why I don't write things down...they WILL be found, they WILL be read, and if its bad i WILL get in shit, if it's good the entire family WILL be made to read the bloody thing...
ChiliRamen 0
This is why diaries are a bad idea...
LittleCopter 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! that would suck balls!!!!
douchebagerry11 0
Ur mom is a bitch.
giganticbrain 0
Why the **** would you write that in a diary? You deserved it for being able to write.
Tobe_fml 0
YDI for being a Jetson.
Njord09 2
you either lost your virginity extremely early in life or you should **** stop writing a diary by now o_O. YDI. YDI badly.
chunkofchange 0
YDI for having a diary....