Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
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Top comments
I_Go_Commando 0
If this isn't motivation enough to get your ass in shape, i don't know what is.
xxyumtasticxx 0
it's like family guy Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult! Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid.
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Comments (76)
ashykins08 0
Who cares if the OP is overweight, that isnt the issue. The guard should have known better. I would have spoken to a manager at the store about it. If you like the way you look, dont worry about it. That's all that matters. It is very similar to family guy though, haha.
McHammerfist 0
Maybe if you ate less people wouldn't think that you were stealing there clothes all the time. The officer had every right to inadvertently call you a fat ass. He had his job and suspected you of stealing. You probably ate all of the clothes anyways, so there was probably some truth to his suspicions.
Baltar 0
You deserve it for being that fat. Eat fewer children and maybe try moving without the use of your electric scooter every now and then.
lightmylamb 0
Stores can't actually do anything to you unless you've left the store with merchandise. They can ask if that's something, but it's against most company's policies to accuse anyone of stealing. Most stores/security guards will wait until you've left so they can press charges/ ban you from the store. The security guard not only insulted you by calling you a shoplifter, he also insulted you by calling you fat. He could probably be fired for that, if you're looking for revenge.
Mwoehaha 0
I can't believe how people can be that mean! I mean, maybe she just has an abnormal body, than she would have nearly no thighs, very small legs en arms and than a huge belly, where all the fat would be; if she's small, she could be 10 pounds more than 'normal' (which is perfectly normal too xD) and she would look fat ánd like she's stealing clothes. I mean, if someone has fat legs too, nobody would think she'd hide something. Don't call people fat if you haven't seen them! I weigh 10 pounds more than ideal with loads of fat in that 10 pounds, but I don't look fat beyond control because I have a moderately well shaped body and not a weird one. I could've been the OP and I don't like people calling other people fat! Character is the important thing, please! And I know this looks like whining, but I typed it with a smile and I'm sure you did that as well. But OP was already feeling bad, so put your manners on ppl.
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
Oh my, another "somebody noticed I'm fat" FML. Whoever is approving these, FYL. I don't care if the story is legit and I'm not necessarily saying YDI, they're boring and repetitive.
galad2003 0
#22 is right, security guards can't do jack, they aren't cops so you can sue the piss out of them. They are supposed to detain you until the police come then they can search you.
xania_fml 0
that's what pot gets you.
Duckasaurus 0
Security Guard : All right son, I'm going to need those two hams back. Chris : Huh? I don't have any hams! Security Guard : Lift up your shirt, son. Chris : I need an adult! I need an adult! Security Guard : You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid!
eeee93757 0
If this is even real... #2 for the win...