Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
I_Go_Commando 0
If this isn't motivation enough to get your ass in shape, i don't know what is.
xxyumtasticxx 0
it's like family guy Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult! Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
HeyyyBrahhh 0
Maybe you should lose some weight.
crunkkidz 0
#4 I loved that episode! lol And that's kind of embarassing! But, maybe try losing some weight. If not to look better, then for the sake of your health.
procrastinator17 0
Number 22 is completely right.. I work in retail and you can get the security officer fired plus sue for damages.
Hydra_fml 0
I'm with #3 Wonder what the security guard's reaction was.
Thoureau 0
Maybe it was in one of his rolls.
Art_Vandeley 0
hint hint
ohhhhshizzz 0
yall are really mean, the officer should have realized that it wasnt clothes. Clothes are lumpy when put under shirt and most people would put the shirt ON under their clothes. The officer was an idiot who shouldnt have a job, and yeah the OP should lose a little weight, but if theyre comfy wtf? why do you care?
blargity 0
you dont deserve it for being fat its only an opinion of at lest one person but it doesnt mean you really are out shape :D
Compwiz1993 0
Wow 22. Only in America can you be wrongly sued for trying to do your job. It's lawyers like you who indirectly take away peoples freedoms by making them afraid that they'll get sued for just even minorly offending someone. Thanks for that.
nickmcclendon 0
"Excuse me, sir, you can't park your van on the diving board."